During confinement, situations develop between work and the life situation with a man who either violates you or who behaves towards you which are very toxic, which can harm you both obviously in the short term but also in the long term, when the situation gets bogged down during this non-stop life together.
Some of you benefit from teleworking measures that allow them to continue to be able to be paid and to maintain your position. However, sometimes the spouses cannot work: they then put pressure and real stress on you which prevent you from doing what you have to do in a normal and efficient balanced way.
But this situation in general does not happen like this: before confinement and before this particular context, you had any warning signs anyway, whether it was unpleasant reflections about your work or insults or violence. or blows so that you cannot continue with the tasks you are doing.
But with confinement we go beyond the warning signals and you are intensely confronted with this reality that you had hitherto been able to escape in a sense. It is a salutary opportunity that you can seize by realizing that it cannot last like this and also gaining confidence in yourself since you have a job, a professional situation which allows you to live and be independent and that it is absolutely necessary. fundamental that you keep: if you lose it, you will be in a situation of even stronger dependence.
Indeed in the relationship you can perhaps find yourself in emotional dependence because you love your spouse or your companion and you also want him to love you: you thus make compromises or even could you say compromises.
But here it is fundamental to realize that if you allow yourself to be fooled in the professional field, it becomes even more dangerous.
This completely jeopardizes your freedom and therefore your future, as well as the future of your children if you have any.
- Bounce back and build an autonomous environment
The first reaction to have is therefore this maximum alert which must which must therefore lead to finding this strategy that will allow you to bounce back and build an autonomous environment, without this toxic man, in order to develop professionally. And once you have developed professionally, you can then find a personal balance. Because it is through that, through that independence that it necessarily happens.
- Make a decision and act
The second reaction is the decision to find an organization to get out of this intolerable situation. I’m here to support you if you want us to really dig into the different avenues you have: this can start with the organization for your separation to help you get in touch with a lawyer if you’re married or to make the right decisions. in relation to the organization of visiting and accommodation rights for your children; this can also mean taking into account the need for material goods to go to a notary who will advise you on the asset side and avoid getting caught up in agreements to your detriment. I am here to help you assert what you want, regardless of each other’s influences.
Agnès de Reulle
Coach, Expert in liberation from domestic and family violence & in controlling the stress of legal proceedings
Article written for Positive Words.